Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
