i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
