Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
