it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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