it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
