But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
