need another drink. this is the easiest way
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
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