I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm at about main and main street
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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