You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
