Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
