How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
