Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
