I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
