This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
