im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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