There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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