and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
