I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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