I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
