You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
