this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ladies don't puke and tell
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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