Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
