how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
