She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
