I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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