Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
