that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
