everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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