So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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