guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
