and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The struggles of a small town man whore
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
