Umm I'm too high to move.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
