Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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