some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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