dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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