If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
