literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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