Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
