I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
