I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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