you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
