their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
