I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
