The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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