So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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