My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Randomize
