Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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