you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
