My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
