I'm jealous of your bromance
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
